at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
