Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
