At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
