I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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