i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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