why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
