Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
