Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
