She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
