noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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