my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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