well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
