they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i've created a new STD.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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