Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
