Having a random hookup so left but love u
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
