her vagine was all disorganized.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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