so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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