Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
