So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
