Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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