doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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