My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
