when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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