Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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