Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My feet surprised me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
