upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
