Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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