Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
