Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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