Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
