Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
