So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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