that's an acceptable place to lick
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
