Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
