apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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