What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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