We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
