The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
