I hate your face
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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