If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
