I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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