Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im holly from the hills drunk
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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