shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
