Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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