just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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