Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
