we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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