I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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