so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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