I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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