Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i out mim tonsoeep
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